Do I really believe?

Today I was having a discussion with an incredible person when this question was posed? Do we really believe we are to be like Jesus? I noticed that in our religious circles we have much teaching on finances, relationships, parenting, and marriage. All these issues are incredibly important, yet do I ever truly aspire to do what Jesus said? Do I really believe Jesus is truth? If Jesus says you are blessed when you do something, would I do it? Blessed are the poor, ( poor in Spirit). Do I really identify with the poor? If you want to be perfect sell all your possessions give the money to the poor and follow me. Please God deliver me from my rationalized love of self. Blessed are those who mourn. Do I mourn over the 45-50 million babies viciously murdered on the altar of convenience of the American dream? Do I mourn when I realize that if and when persecution moves across this country most of the people sitting next to me in church will not remain faithful including myself? Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. When was the last time I was hungry or thirsty for anything? Blessed are the peacemakers. Do I realize that to be a peacemaker, I have to not only accept conflict but I must expose my fault and endure the pain of the disagreement over being right? The wisdom of the cross is foolishness to the world. Amongst all the teaching of the wisdom of this world I wonder if I at all display any of the truths our Lord spoke. It is my desire that the Spirit of God would expose the issues of my heart, that as I am emptied of self, the Lord would fill me with everlasting life. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked. I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in fire, that thou mayest be rich, and and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see. I guess the only answer I have at this moment is, Lord I believe, please help me with my unbelief.