Saturday, October 4, 2008

White cybertrash

There is a growing epidemic in this country that is absorbing so many of our once great productive citizens. It is a quiet killer, and is cloaked in the typical, "I don't need this I can quit at any time!!" jargon. You see the results of this stealth consumer of the mind everywhere you look. It is much like alcohol, or drugs. It empties the resources of it's consumers, similar to cigarettes. I have seen the affects on so many families. The new cultural menace... facebook. That's right... facebook.

I remember as a child seeing other children with so much less than I. Now we were considered lower middle class. My dad had a very respectable factory job, just as these kids parents, yet they seemed to have so much less. I remember walking up to their houses and the yard being uncut, and children running around with no shoes or shirts, faces covered with the food they had consumed. Upon entering their front door, I could smell the smoke of cigarettes and see the cans of beer sitting upon tables, consumed by the previous nights carousing. I did not realize then what I realize now. They had less because of vice, vices my parents did not have.

Now we must ask ourselves some serious questions here. Does our computer desk favor an unkempt single wide trailer? Are there glasses of iced tea or cans of soft drinks lying hither and yon? Are there papers strewn about needing to be filed or at least read? How about the children? It is 2:00 in the afternoon, are the children still in their pajamas from the night before? Have you ever uttered these words at breakfast lunch or dinner? " Not right now, I'm facebooking".
Or how about, "I'll get you something in a minute", only to forget and feed the kids lunch as 2:45 in the afternoon?

We might need to get help. This is no easy task for most of our friends are probably our friends on facebook. Do we need a sponsor? Here are some questions to ask to see if someone might be a possible sponsor to help us through these troubled times.

Q: Will you send me a friend request?

Sponsor answer: Confused look since you have been friends for a while.

Addict response: "Let me get my laptop!!"

Q: Have you superpoked anybody lately?

Sponsor response: Look of disgust or shock. Maybe even a slap in the face.

Addict response: "Yesterday"

Q: Mention writing on the Wall.

Sponsor response: Dissertation of the book of Daniel and Old Testament prophecy

Addict response: High pupil dilation, rapid breathing.

If you need any help to free yourself from this growing menace, or have ideas to stem it's destructive tide please send me ideas. Together we can make a difference.

PS: The easiest way to reach me is put a post on my facebook wall. It is the surest way for me to get the message.



Kirk said...

You won't feel as guilty if you do what we do and tell them pajamas are what cool kids wear all the time...

Dennis D. said...

this post is stinkin hilarious. by the way I just superpoked you.

Star said...


el norteno said...

Have you talked to Tammy face-to-face about this? Or you could just write on her wall.

el norteno said...

I'm relieved to hear the lines of communication are still open between you two. Excuse me, I need to call Child Protection....